You Hold Me Now

When I was originally called to go to Zimbabwe last summer there were so many unknowns.  I knew very little about Zimbabwe and had never heard of Sanyati other than the article that the Lord pointed me on May 17th.  I did not know anyone from the team from Georgia that I was to join.  I was soon to jump on a plane, fly about 9,000 miles across the globe to work on a hospital with a very limited understand of the culture and what exactly I was going to do.  I just knew that the Lord put a burden on my heart that I could not deny.  A burden that brought me to tears at times.  

Through the two months to prepare to go, I found (or was led) to several things that I leaned on heavily to get me through it all.  The first was the word of God.  I read Hebrews 11.  It spoke of faith, the faith in God in what He created and what He did through the people He chose to write about in the Bible.  Specifically, Hebrews 11:6 says that "...without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him."  Hebrews 11 is an awesome reminder of the faith of the people of the Old Testament.  Hebrews 12 follows with the "cloud of witnesses", and the call "run with endurance the race that is set before us" while "²fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.   ³For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."  It speaks magnitudes on faith and Jesus as the author and perfecter of faith.  How lowly am I, a person of no faith outside of that Christ gives me, to be redeemed by His grace and to have any part witnessing what He is doing.  I needed the steady reassuring hand of the Lord to keep me on the path He set before me. 

Being reminded of those of faith in the past helped calm my nerves.  I also listened to songs that reassured me.  "You Hold Me Now" by Hillsong United was often on my playlist.  Sometimes I would listen to it over and over with other songs like "Rescue" from the Desperation Band and even "Faithfully" by Journey (not exactly a "Christian" song but it brought the thought in my heart of faithfulness to the Lord).  Faith was the theme as the Lord had a plan which I did not understand.  I just needed to have the faith to lay everything down to follow it.

As in the past, the Lord always follows through and amazes beyond all understanding.  While in college, I was once called to serve as a summer missionary in inner city Houston.  I had no idea what God was doing when His gentle hand kept pushing me forward to go through the application process.  I felt called to apply and when I let the deadline pass, it was extended.  I finally turned in the application having to say that I had no experience singing or leading children's ministries.  There were so many questions with a negative answer.  I did not understand why I was being led this way.  I drove to Fort Worth and went before the committee.  I stood there and said I had no idea why I was here, I don't meet any of the criteria you have put out as needs, but for some reason I am here.  I can work with my hands and am studying to be an engineer but there is nothing in your application that says you have a need in that area.  A few months later, I walked into the first team meeting in Houston.  The leader of the senior adult ministry looked around and said where is the big guy we have been praying for that can lift, move and install appliances.  I had been standing behind her.  She turned and looked at me and said, "You will do!"  Right then, the Lord confirmed that He had a plan and that it was not by chance that I was there.  I spent eleven weeks observing the Lord's love for a community, getting to meet people, working in a food pantry, learning how to serve meals to large groups of people, working with the local youth and children and serving the senior adults of inner city Houston.  The Lord taught me things that changed my life.  I learned what true joy was from people that lived in conditions you would not think existed in America.  I heard the personal testimonies of those of the community and those that came to serve from all over the US and Puerto Rico.

Last August, I spent two weeks in Africa soaking up the testimonies of the team I joined from Georgia along with the testimonies of Barry and Marleen Robinson, Dr. Mark Byler, Don Smith and all of the nationals I met in the Sanyati area.  It was an experience beyond explanation.  I got to hear people sing praises to the Lord in Shona, a language I never heard of before.  The music and the stomp dance brought tears to my eyes.  Who am I to be shown this.  Who am I to even know it exists.  It was very humbling, a gift that is beyond measure.  While I was there, I had the feeling that God orchestrated my trip to prepare me for something more...to go back with my family and coordinate the teams coming through in 2012.  That was confirmed many times over since then.  One of those times being very similar to the confirmation I received being called as a summer missionary in college.  In October while attending a meeting about Sanyati at the Baptist Global Response (BGR) conference in Tennessee, I was introduced as the person they had been praying for.  The Sanyati Makeover is the first international project of this type and magnitude undertaken by BGR and they had been praying for someone to live onsite for six months in 2012.  In about a month, we are scheduled to travel to Sanyati and fulfill the calling, depending on the Lord to guide, protect and hold us through every step we take.

Ryan